


When It's Over

by nightfallgoddess



Category: Degrassi the Next Generation
Genre: Heartbreak, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-18
Updated: 2014-11-18
Packaged: 2018-02-26 03:45:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2636774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightfallgoddess/pseuds/nightfallgoddess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is the beginning of the new school year and Miles breaks Tristan's heart</p>
            </blockquote>





	When It's Over

I'd done this dozens of times before, but this time I felt something. I wasn't just saying the words while my mind was elsewhere. I was here.

I swallowed back the lump in my throat. Tristan lifted his hands towards my face, his touch was cold but comforting. I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch.

“Miles… what's wrong?” his thumb rubbed my cheek, I forced myself to open my eyes.

I looked up and saw his light blue eyes looking at me with confusion, worry and something else I couldn't tell.

“Tris...I'm sorry. I can’t do this,”

“Do what?”

“You know what," I replied.

“Do I? If I did I wouldn't be asking,”

“Tristan” I sighed, “ _Us_ , I can’t do us anymore,” he dropped his hands quickly as if I’d electrocuted him, a flash of hurt in his eyes at the same time as I felt my heart thud.

“Are you breaking up with me?”

“I don’t know,” I replied.

“You don’t know? What else does  _I can’t do us anymore_ mean?”

“I don’t want a serious relationship right now. This isn't what I wanted, it's gotten too serious,” I lied.

“ _Serious_? Since when were we serious?”

“Since I told you everything about myself and since you kissed me!” I didn't know why I was yelling, but I couldn't stop myself.

“But you kissed me back! Actually, you kissed me back **a lot** of times” he replied proudly.

“Tris it’s not just the kisses...I loved them” my mask beginning to fall.

“Then what? Tell me Miles because I am beyond confused right now,”

“It's me,” I blurted out.

“ _Seriously_ Miles? You’re breaking up with me and you can’t even look me in the eyes and be honest about why?” his voice filled with venom.

Why couldn't he make this easy for me and just accept my break up? Why was he making this so difficult?

“No, you know what? It’s actually you!” I spat at him.

“And what exactly have I done that is so terrible you feel the need to break up with me?”

“What's so bad about _you_?” I laughed, “Where do I start? Look Tris, you're nice and all... but you’re just not good enough for me,” I decided to take a different approach to the conversation which felt like it was about to become a screaming match.

“What?” I've never heard him sound so small. He looked at me with wide eyes filled with disbelief

“I _said_ , that you’re just not enough,” I hardened my voice to get my point across even though it was breaking my heart to see how much I’d hurt him.

After a small pause Tristan replied, his voice barely above a whisper “I don’t understand”, he whispered.

I chose my next words carefully and aimed them to hurt. "Look, _Tristan_. It was fun to fool around and all during the summer, but you should have known that we could never be actually together. My dad’s running for Mayor this season and he can’t afford to have this getting out to the press” I said slowly, knowing that if I talked normally, something would falter and he’d be able to see right past my facade.

“So what? What we have… _had_ , was just nothing? A **thing**?” I closed my eyes slightly at his past tense.

“I just need something…different” I opened my eyes and let out an exasperated breath.

“Something different… like what? A multimillionaire who you don’t need to worry about them stealing your precious trust fund? Or some hot shot lawyer who can get you into any law school you want? Well I’m sorry I’m not that guy Miles. I’m sorry that my life ambitions and sexuality don’t match up to your standards and I’m sorry that our thing didn't live up to your expectations,” he lifted himself off the school bench and started to walk away.

“Don’t walk away from me Tris-”

“Why not? isn't that what you want? A nice clean break up, no strings to link us?”

“That isn't what I want no,” I knew this contradicted everything I said to him previously, but I couldn't help it.

“So what do _you_ want? Do you want me to break down and cry, confessing my undying love?” he said with a bitter laugh.

My heart skipped a beat at the word love. A word that has taunted me for years. But, being with Tristan had me realize that I could feel that word for someone. **I love him**. I love him and I can’t be with him. After this, he’s going to hate me for a while, possibly forever. I promised him before we began our relationship that I wouldn't play games or be the second guy to hurt him. I guess I shouldn't have made that promise.

“Tristan...Listen we can’t talk here,” I lowered my voice and took a step in his direction. People were walking out of the school for passing period and sooner or later someone would hear their argument.

“Jesus Miles! Are you hearing yourself? You just told me that I’m not good enough for you and pretty much threw it my face that you’re embarrassed of me. And now you want to talk? -No. I think we’re done **talking** , _Miles_ ” his usual pale face had begun to redden around his cheeks as his voice rose higher and higher.

“You know, I thought you actually wanted me. I thought when we fucking made lov-“ he stopped suddenly, turning his head to the side, away from me.

Heat rose from my neck to my face as the memories in bed together came up in my mind. I closed my eyes to images of Tristan sprawled out on my bed, body inviting. The heat of him when I bottomed in out as he wrapped his long legs around my waist. The taste of his sweat, when I ran my tongue down his long torso. His breathy moans as I increased my speed, and he also, meeting every single thrust with shaky breaths. I remembered everything. So vividly, and after this conversation, I would lock them away in my memory palace where they would be impossible to get a hold of.

I opened my eyes to see Tristan’s striking blue eyes watching mine with tears in his eyes. I wanted to reach out and wipe them away. He looked up at the sky, blinking his eyes rapidly. When he turned his gaze back towards mine, his lips were set in a closed smile but it didn't reach his face. His eyes were dead, dull. I did that.

“Okay fine, I’ll get out of your life. I don’t know if it even matters now but, I... lov- loved you” his voice cracked at the end.

I turned my face away from his and fisted my hands next to my side, took a deep breathe out of my nose and looked at him again.

“It _doesn't_ ” I replied, adding another lie to my growing list of them, lifting one side of my mouth in a smirk.

There was nothing but silence as we stared at each other. I didn't want to be the first one to back down. Tristan slowly turned his back and began walking towards the school building. I could see that he was trying to keep it together by the way that he was walking, all stiff. I stood there and watched as the one person that I have ever loved walk away from my life.

**Author's Note:**

> I had a dream of this fic and had to write it down before I forgot it. I hope like it. Comment, Kudos, and criticisms are more than welcome.


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